CANTON — With deep sadness we announce the passing of John Butler Hoben, 88, of Canton. After a long illness, he died peacefully at home surrounded by his family.
He leaves his wife of 61 years, Jane Ducharme Hoben; and daughters Beth Hoben (David Mlodinoff) and Aimee Hoben (Michael Ryan); and grandchildren Serena Hoben Mlodinoff, Beckett Austin Ryan, and Paulette Chloe Ryan. He also leaves behind many beloved nieces and nephews.
John grew up in a multigenerational household in Naugatuck. He was the eldest son and second of seven children of parents Marion Butler Hoben and John Joseph Hoben. He was predeceased by siblings Suzanne Hinchey (Richard), Marion Cooksley, Richard (Marge), Barbara Dotts (Ric), and Bruce (Susan); and is survived by Sandra (Allan Goodman).
He attended The Gunnery and Yale University and served in the Marine Corps as a counter mortar radar operator at Camp Pendleton in the desert in California.
After teaching English at Lewis S. Mills High School, where he was president of the teachers union, he became a psychotherapist at Merriman Hall, Waterbury Hospital. He later opened a private practice in Waterbury, called Human Services, specializing in individual, couples, and family therapy, where he helped countless first responders, including police, fire, and correction officers.
As an adjunct professor he taught counseling at the UConn branches in Waterbury and Torrington. He also served as a consultant with Options Mental Health Associates of Connecticut. Insightful and easy to talk to, he was an excellent therapist.
His love of the ocean began with his work lifeguarding at various Connecticut state parks, culminating as beach captain (aka “King of the Lifeguards”) at Hammonasset Beach State Park, where Jane spent summers camping with her family. On their first date, Jane asked John to take her to see Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot” at the Madison Town Hall, during which she fell asleep.
Under the guidance of his father-in-law, U. Maurice Ducharme, he built an Alcort Sunfish sailboat using only hand tools. An avid sailor and holder of his captain’s license, he spent time on the water in the British Virgin Islands, Long Island Sound, Block Island, and Fishers Island.
One of his life’s greatest adventures was a trip down the Intracoastal Waterway in his 35-foot, shoal draft Pearson.
He became a birder with a particular interest in shore birds and expanded his range with a birding trip to Cuba. He also loved reading. His favorite book was Thomas Pynchon’s “Gravity’s Rainbow.”
He enjoyed the piece of land that he and Jane shared in Canton for 55 years. He loved his grandchildren, rafting trips on the Farmington River, yearly fall trips to Maine, and his cats.
An intelligent and intellectually curious man, John challenged himself later in life with understanding quantum physics. His friends and family will remember him for his kindness, his wit, his few but well-chosen words, and his impeccable comedic timing.
Arrangements are being handled by Carmon Community Funeral Homes, where remembrances may be left on their website.
